Thursday, May 7, 2015

Twin's Birth Story

A lot of my friends have done this, and although I know it's often TMI for most people, I think there's something to be said about reflecting on going through childbirth and allowing your children to read it later as well. I never knew a lot of things about my Mother's experiences with her own five labor and deliveries until I was going through it myself, and I think I would have liked to know a bit! So here goes!

Twins usually come earlier than 38 weeks, which is the absolute cutoff that most doctors will let you go because of the risk of stillbirth. My twins did not. And not only did they not come early, they showed no signs (and neither did my body) of wanting to come out at all! At my 38 week OB appointment, the nurses were all shocked that I had made it that far. I thought that I should at least be progressing somewhat, but no. My cervix was completely closed and so high up the OB couldn't even find it! Awesome. So we decided that because both twins were head down we would try a few things to get my body to go into natural labor before opting for a c-section.

We scheduled my induction for a Thursday afternoon. At around six p.m. a nurse came in and administered cervidil, a cervical ripening agent. The next twelve hours were spent hoping my body would get the hint...so we waited. And waited. I felt nothing. We stayed up all night, wishing for actual contractions to begin, and although I often felt Braxton-Hicks as I has been feeling for weeks, nothing new seemed to be coming of the medication. At six a.m. the next morning, the nurse came to check me and said I was barely over 1 cm dilated. Which then begged the question, would that be enough?? The nurse said it was a close call, and that we needed to choose whether we'd try to go natural still or opt for the c-section. After careful consideration, we decided that a c-section would be our best option, since my body obviously didn't respond well to induction meds. We let the nurse know, and she informed my doctor when he arrived for the day. She returned, and told us the doctor wanted to check me himself  and then chat with us a bit.

Ten minutes or so later, my wonderful, experienced Doc came in, and after checking me gave his informed opinion that i was actually a full 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. He was confident that with help from pitocin and breaking Twin A's water I would be able to deliver within eight hours. Without much time to decide, I asked if he was sure that I would be in the clear for a natural delivery, and while he reassured me of that, he went ahead and broke my water. I was a bit in shock! Here I had already mentally prepared myself for a c-section, and all of a sudden the plans changed. I think the nurses realized that I was overwhelmed and reminded me that I could still choose to do the c-section at any time. Once I calmed down a bit, I was of course thrilled to be doing a natural delivery, which is what I had wanted from the beginning.

They started me on pitocin at around seven thirty in the morning, and told me to let them know when I was ready for my epidural. My doctor had discussed with me that he felt that I should get an epidural no matter what to make sure that if things went unfavorably he could easily transition me to a c-section. At around nine thirty my contractions picked up, and I decided it was time. The anesthesiologist came in and the epidural was placed in minutes. Unfortunately, I guess I wasn't hydrated enough because my blood pressure and Baby A's heart rate plummeted. t was scary to see five nurses rush in, give me an oxygen mask, and put a monitor directly on Baby A's head! I had no idea what was happening, because the blood pressure drop made me super groggy, but I could see the look on Thomas's poor face! He was terrified! Luckily the problem was easily rectified by pumping me full of fluids, and all was well.

Things steadily progresses for the next several hours, and finally I was close to six centimeters dilated and almost 100% effaced! I was happy that things were going well, until I stared feeling a lot of pain again. The nurse told me that was normal, but if I wanted an extra dose in my epidural they could call the anesthesiologist to come give me a boost. I told her to pleas do that, haha! He came in and asked me if I was feeling sharp pain or just pressure, and I said while it wasn't necessarily sharp per se, It was very painful. He gave me the extra meds and left. About an hour later, the extra meds hadn't done anything and I was in more pain than ever due to the fact that my sciatic had begun spasaming with each contraction. Ouch! They called the anesthesiologist back in, where he did a few tests and realized that my epidural had completely failed! He felt kind of bad that he had doubted me earlier, so he was very nice this time and assured me that he would do whatever he could to make me more comfortable. We decided that instead of trying to see if the existing epidural could be used, we would go ahead and redo it. He came in very quickly with the equipment and after a grueling ten minutes of me sobbing on the bed trying to sit still as he pushed on my shoulders (which made my sciatic VERY angry) to get me into position, the new epidural was placed and I finally had some relief!

After that ordeal, I was ready for a little rest, but soon after the epidural kicked in, I was dilated to a 10 and fully effaced! The nurse went to check with the doctor to see if I was okay to push, and he agreed. This was at around 10:15 pm on Friday night. I had been in labor (or trying to go into labor) for over 24 hours. Pushing was so nice, because it finally felt like I could do something productive! My contractions were every few minutes, so we pushed with them for two hours straight. At around 12:15, Baby A was still not quite to the point that we could be transferred to the operating room (where they were going to do the actual delivery) and my contractions were beginning to dwindle.   Like one every six or seven minutes. We continued to push for another half hour, but Baby A was stuck just behind my pelvic bone, and the contractions were too weak to really be of any help, so the doc took us into the OR and decided to use forceps to help get Baby A out.

We were wheeled into the OR, and not fifteen minutes later Baby A-a boy we named Griffin Shae-was born. He came on April 18th at 1:03 a.m., 5 lbs, 13 oz, 19 inches long. Shortly after he was born, they broke Baby B's water and used a vacuum to help deliver her. Baby B-a girl we named Winter Rose- was born at 1:13 a.m., she was 5 lbs even and 18 inches long. Both babies were healthy and screaming, and I got to hold both of them right away. They were perfect! I was in love! Winter was crying before Thomas set her on my chest, and then she immediately stopped when she heard my voice. It was a moment I'll never forget.

Now the fun starts! The doctor had been massaging my stomach this entire time, trying to get my placentas to release. No dice. They took the babies from me, and the doctor began to look worried. Apparently if your placenta doesn't come out quickly enough you are at high risk for hemorrhaging and other nasty things like infections. No bueno. I didn't know this at time, so I didn't understand the gravity of the situation until (at this point I will warn you, it gets a lot TMI if you want to stop reading...) the doctor PUT HIS WHOLE ARM INSIDE ME. Literally! He started manually removing (ripping) the placentas from my uterine wall. This was uncomfortable, to say the least! Even with a functioning epidural it was excruciating, to the point that I begged him to stop. They called that poor anesthesiologist down. He gave me enough pain medication to do an actual c-section, but instead of going into effect immediately, it took over ten minutes to have any effect on me. After that I don't recall anything, but apparently (I was told later) they ended up putting me into twilight sleep (like when you get your wisdom teeth out) because i was in so much discomfort.

I woke up two and a half hours later being wheeled back into my room, where my sweet, terrified husband had been doing a fantastic job of keeping it together and doing skin-to-skin with our precious newborns. I wasn't allowed to sit up to nurse them because they had doped me up so much that my blood pressure was dangerously low, but I held onto those little bundles as much as I could until they gave me the all clear to sit up and nurse. After that It was smooth sailing! My recovery has been a breeze due partly to the fact that they spent so much time scraping out my poor uterus! I know, gross.

Later the doc and the anesthesiologist both came in to check on me and explain exactly what had happened to me after I knocked out. We were all very grateful that we had decided to re-do the epidural, as without it they probably would have had to put me completely under anesthesia which would have been much more dangerous and had much worse effects for me. We were released on Sunday night, and life has been crazy and wonderful ever since!

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Life as of late

I know I am terrible at blogging. But this is kind of like my online journal, and right now I feel the need to capture the moments before they're just a distant, fading memory. So this is my attempt to document the last nine months...

Pregnancy was pretty easy for me. I didn't get sick, I just got more tired than I though was humanly possible. I wanted to sleep through my entire first trimester! I could easily sleep twelve hours a night and still take a three hour nap after work. At the time I was working full-time the the MTC as a cook, and although it wasn't strenuous, I would often just collapse into bed at the end of my shift. As I entered my second trimester, I had found a different job working as a sandwich maker at a little family-run place in Provo, and I loved it! It was less demanding on time and energy, and I was grateful for the change from a huge operation serving 400-600 people three times a day to feeding just a lunch rush.

The third trimester was probably the worst, but really I have no reason to complain. I did have my bouts with sciatica and general uncomfortableness, but by large and part I wasn't really suffering from anything but lack of sleep.

Thomas, as always, was a champ. Despite being in school full-time and working full-time to support us, he always made time for his suddenly very emotional wife. That man is a saint. He frequently went to the store/Wendys/Chik-Fil-A/Cubby's when I wanted something in particular, and always made sure I had plenty of chocolate!

So as far as the pregnancy part of babies, that wasn't too hard. My body did really well carrying our two little munchkins. A little too well, actually, but more on that later.

As for the rest of life lately, things are going well! Thomas is done with school for the summer, so other than a few easy online classes he is just working. I love it! I am so excited for the day that he can be done with school and we can have hubby/daddy in the evenings and on the weekends.

After Thomas graduates next April, we have pretty much decided to stay in Utah and job hunt here. There are a few reasons for this, one being that, surprisingly, Utah has become quite the tech hub in recent years, and another being that when we decide we are ready to expand our family, being in close proximity to the U of U will be so much easier than having to come in and out of the state for several weeks at a time. Of course, life has a funny way of messing up the best laid plans, but for now that's what we're looking at doing in the near future.

We are settling into our new roles as parents now and look forward to updating everyone on the twins as much as possible! Stay tuned! 

Monday, September 22, 2014

A New Beginning

I think most of you know now that our first round of IVF was successful! We are expecting twins, and my official due date is May 1st, 2015! Needless to say, we are ecstatic! We hoped and prayed and fasted with all of our family for this outcome, and we are so excited to start our family! I hesitated to share the news too publicly as I am only 8 1/2 weeks right now, but with so many people following our journey up until this point, I figured I would share!

So far I haven't had any morning sickness, which has been a real blessing! The nurse who helped with my first sonogram was impressed that I wasn't sick at all, especially considering that I'm having twins. My main symptom has been fatigue, I feel like I just want to sleep all the time! Luckily I get to take a nap most days, but on the days I don't I really struggle through the afternoons.

My insides also already feel like they've shifted a bit, and things feel funny. I am so paranoid about everything after what we went through to get to this point that it was a huge relief to hear both of those sweet heartbeats last week! I am sure I will be antsy until we pass the 13 week mark, and any happy thoughts and prayers you'd like to send my way would be greatly appreciated!

I know it comes down to having faith and trust in my Heavenly Father, and I am trying to be diligent in putting aside my worry. It's one of those things that is really hard right now, but I know if I rely on Him I will be blessed through this experience. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had to even carry a child, let alone two! I am so excited for what the future brings, and know that we will continue to be blessed according to our faith. I am so grateful for all the love and support Thomas and I have gotten through this from friends and family, and we are so happy that we have been able to live in a place with such incredible opportunities for our family.

I promise to keep you all updated, and as soon as I stop just looking fat and start looking pregnant, I will start posting belly pics!

Until next time!

<3 p="" sam="">

Friday, August 8, 2014

It's Time!

Everything has been leading up to this week. All the hormones, blood tests, shots, and doctor visits are coming to fruition in just a few short days! My sister, our egg donor, flew in last Saturday. We had several ultrasounds each to determine what stage we are at, and what the timeline was for the rest of the week. On Wednesday night she had her trigger shot, which matured the eggs she had produced. This morning was the retrieval!  We had been told we could expect 11 eggs...But there were 14 closer enough to extract! That's awesome! Off those 14 there will be some that won't fertilize, but we are hopeful that we will be able to have a few pregnancies! Only five days until we transfer the embryos, then we wait again. We will find out if we are pregnant on August 25th. I'm excited and nervous, but most of all I have faith that no matter what comes from this we are doing the right thing for our family. 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Hormones: The Continuing Saga

So I am now in the throes of hormone therapy. I have noticed a few things, most of them not really terrible, but just different, and some downright obnoxious. WARNING: This post contains TMI.

One of the first things I have noticed-my boobs are huge. Like, at least a full cup size larger! It's incredible! It's not really a bad thing, except my bras don't fit and I don't really want to pay to replace them. So for now, I have to deal with the dreaded "double boob" that comes with a too-small bra. Also, the girls are tender. Not so much that it really hurts, but enough that I notice. I can only hope that it won't get too much worse when I'm actually pregnant!

Since I started the Lupron injections on Sunday, I have been really fatigued. I can easily sleep for twelve hours and still be tired. This doesn't surprise me, as it has happened to a lesser extent on other hormones, but I am not a fan. I feel useless, and it annoys me that one tiny little injection can make such a huge impact on my energy level.

The crazy has begun. Luckily, Thomas has escaped the bulk of my hormone induced wrath, but some of my co-workers aren't so lucky. I have very little patience with people who can't do their jobs correctly, and am having a tough time keeping it to myself these days. Fortunately for me, most of my co-workers think my angry face is adorable and not at all scary. This helps with not getting fired. Plus everyone there loves me, and I can basically do no wrong. This also helps with the not getting fired.

I have been alternately hot and cold, so much so that in one day I can go from a "clothes are SO not happening right now" to a "it's Antarctica in here, bring me a soft blanket stat!" mood very quickly.  It could have something to do with our schizo thermostat, but Thomas doesn't seem to have any issues...

So all in all, it's been good! I'm sure it'll get more intense as the time for the embryo transfer comes nearer, but I really believe that with the help of my Father in Heaven I can do anything! I have felt His love and support, and I know that He is always there to help me.

Bring on the babies! ;)


Monday, May 19, 2014

And so it begins!

I started on my first round of hormones a few days ago. This first round begins with a hormone called estradiol, and as the name suggests, it is a form of estrogen. I am supposed to take it for about a month, then add in progesterone.

Progesterone causes the crazy to come out.

I haven't ever been on estradiol before, and so far it hasn't made me too crazy, for which I am grateful! The main side effects I have discovered are fatigue and headaches. I haven't ever really had a problem with headaches before other than the occasional "haven't had enough sleep"/ "too much sleep" variety. But since I started the regimen I have had an almost constant throbbing pain, and around the early afternoon I have a distinct "slump" in my energy levels.

I have taken progesterone before, and let me tell you: I become utterly insane.
Random crying, irritability, and the tendancy to be very emotional in general have my poor husband running for cover and throwing chocolate at the wife-beast on an hourly basis.

Once, while on progesterone at the beginning of last year, I spent the better part of four hours crying.  That's right. Four hours. I cried in the shower, on the couch, while getting ready for my night shift as a waitress (didn't help with the makeup application, that is for darn sure), and riding my bike to said job. I only barely got under control to serve tables. This is what hormones do to me, they make me a slobbering pile of girly emotions with a healthy dose of angry and bloaty. Lovely.

Luckily it's all going to be worth it, and I would gladly go through just about anything to have a child, but sometimes I wonder if Heavenly Father made me hormoneless so the world wouldn't have to deal with me on full girlzilla mode all the time! ;)

Everything is coming together, and we are on schedule to do the embryo transfer in August! The fourth week in August is the magic time when we will find out if it worked! I'll try to keep you all updated, thank you for all the support!

Love, Sam

Monday, April 14, 2014

There is something about springtime!

It just makes me want to go outside, eat more fruit than any one person should, and have Bar-B-Ques and picnics. I love Spring and Fall, because they aren't too hot or too cold, and both are periods of transition. This Spring I have a bit more on my mind than usual. I tend to be a restless sort of person, mainly due to the constant moving I did while growing up in a military family. As a result, I am always anxious to move on to the next adventure, sometimes to the detriment of my current situation. I also and a very impatient person. When I decide I want to do something, I want to do it NOW! Whether it be something simple like painting a room another color or something big like moving to another place.

At other times in my life, I could really go from making a decision to following through with it in a matter of days. When I graduated from college, I had less than two weeks before I up and moved to Germany for 13 months. When I came home, I stayed with my parents for a while as I figured out what I wanted to do next, but we got tired of each other pretty quickly, and when I decided to move out, I found a place with roommates and moved out in less than 24 hours.

Yeah. I'm like that.

But now, I'm in a different situation. With Thomas in school and working full-time, we don't really have the option to up and move whenever I want. We can't even move apartments, as we have to find things that are pet friendly (and those kinds of places are few and far between here in Provo). I shouldn't switch jobs, because I love what I do and have awesome coworkers, so that's out. I can only dye my hair so many times before it all falls out, so that isn't happening either.

Basically, I am ready for a change. And Thomas is willing to do anything he can to make me happy, including trying to shove two years of school into less than a year so we can move on. So for the past couple of months, we have been planning out exactly how hard we both have to work so that we can graduate, do IVF, and not go into a horrendous amount of debt in the process.

We added and re-added all the credits that Thomas has left, when he could take them, how much we would both have to work, how much it is going to cost for IVF and school at the same time, and how to time everything so it works out just right. And then I realized...

It can't be done. Sure, if I didn't want to see my husband for the next years straight and stress both of us out, neglect our sweet dogs, and possibly go bankrupt, we could probably do it.

But i like my husband, and I love spending time with him. I love it when he's not super stressed out. I love cuddling my puppies. I really love cuddling my hubby.

And so last night, after wrestling with it for a few days, praying and really deciding what my priorities are, I told Thomas we needed to slow it down. Instead for running ourselves into the ground, we are going to take an extra semester and graduate in December of 2015 instead of April 2015. I have felt so much peace after making this decision, and as much as I dread spending more time in Utah, it's better than having an absentee husband for a year. And I can endure anything if I just put on my big girl panties and suck it up! ;)  I know whatever lies in store for us, that we will do it together, and with The Lord on our side, how can we not succeed?

I am grateful for the promptings of the Spirit. I am grateful I am in tune enough to realize when the Holy Ghost is telling me something that I should be doing even when I don't really want to hear it. I know that If I continue to heed those promptings I will be blessed, and so will my family. And as much as I rebel against being here in Utah, I know it's where we need to be right now.

I broke down and got a Utah driver's license today. So I guess it's official...I'm a Utard. For the time being, at least! ;) I really am enjoying being close to family, and friends from college. I am grateful for the new friends I have made, and for the great ward we are in. I know if I can just have a better attitude, I will be able to have a good time here and continue to make our time here pleasant!

And yes, you can go ahead and be proud that I blogged twice in one month.

Until next time!

Much love,
Sam