It just makes me want to go outside, eat more fruit than any one person should, and have Bar-B-Ques and picnics. I love Spring and Fall, because they aren't too hot or too cold, and both are periods of transition. This Spring I have a bit more on my mind than usual. I tend to be a restless sort of person, mainly due to the constant moving I did while growing up in a military family. As a result, I am always anxious to move on to the next adventure, sometimes to the detriment of my current situation. I also and a very impatient person. When I decide I want to do something, I want to do it NOW! Whether it be something simple like painting a room another color or something big like moving to another place.
At other times in my life, I could really go from making a decision to following through with it in a matter of days. When I graduated from college, I had less than two weeks before I up and moved to Germany for 13 months. When I came home, I stayed with my parents for a while as I figured out what I wanted to do next, but we got tired of each other pretty quickly, and when I decided to move out, I found a place with roommates and moved out in less than 24 hours.
Yeah. I'm like that.
But now, I'm in a different situation. With Thomas in school and working full-time, we don't really have the option to up and move whenever I want. We can't even move apartments, as we have to find things that are pet friendly (and those kinds of places are few and far between here in Provo). I shouldn't switch jobs, because I love what I do and have awesome coworkers, so that's out. I can only dye my hair so many times before it all falls out, so that isn't happening either.
Basically, I am ready for a change. And Thomas is willing to do anything he can to make me happy, including trying to shove two years of school into less than a year so we can move on. So for the past couple of months, we have been planning out exactly how hard we both have to work so that we can graduate, do IVF, and not go into a horrendous amount of debt in the process.
We added and re-added all the credits that Thomas has left, when he could take them, how much we would both have to work, how much it is going to cost for IVF and school at the same time, and how to time everything so it works out just right. And then I realized...
It can't be done. Sure, if I didn't want to see my husband for the next years straight and stress both of us out, neglect our sweet dogs, and possibly go bankrupt, we could probably do it.
But i like my husband, and I love spending time with him. I love it when he's not super stressed out. I love cuddling my puppies. I really love cuddling my hubby.
And so last night, after wrestling with it for a few days, praying and really deciding what my priorities are, I told Thomas we needed to slow it down. Instead for running ourselves into the ground, we are going to take an extra semester and graduate in December of 2015 instead of April 2015. I have felt so much peace after making this decision, and as much as I dread spending more time in Utah, it's better than having an absentee husband for a year. And I can endure anything if I just put on my big girl panties and suck it up! ;) I know whatever lies in store for us, that we will do it together, and with The Lord on our side, how can we not succeed?
I am grateful for the promptings of the Spirit. I am grateful I am in tune enough to realize when the Holy Ghost is telling me something that I should be doing even when I don't really want to hear it. I know that If I continue to heed those promptings I will be blessed, and so will my family. And as much as I rebel against being here in Utah, I know it's where we need to be right now.
I broke down and got a Utah driver's license today. So I guess it's official...I'm a Utard. For the time being, at least! ;) I really am enjoying being close to family, and friends from college. I am grateful for the new friends I have made, and for the great ward we are in. I know if I can just have a better attitude, I will be able to have a good time here and continue to make our time here pleasant!
And yes, you can go ahead and be proud that I blogged twice in one month.
Until next time!
Much love,
Sam
At other times in my life, I could really go from making a decision to following through with it in a matter of days. When I graduated from college, I had less than two weeks before I up and moved to Germany for 13 months. When I came home, I stayed with my parents for a while as I figured out what I wanted to do next, but we got tired of each other pretty quickly, and when I decided to move out, I found a place with roommates and moved out in less than 24 hours.
Yeah. I'm like that.
But now, I'm in a different situation. With Thomas in school and working full-time, we don't really have the option to up and move whenever I want. We can't even move apartments, as we have to find things that are pet friendly (and those kinds of places are few and far between here in Provo). I shouldn't switch jobs, because I love what I do and have awesome coworkers, so that's out. I can only dye my hair so many times before it all falls out, so that isn't happening either.
Basically, I am ready for a change. And Thomas is willing to do anything he can to make me happy, including trying to shove two years of school into less than a year so we can move on. So for the past couple of months, we have been planning out exactly how hard we both have to work so that we can graduate, do IVF, and not go into a horrendous amount of debt in the process.
We added and re-added all the credits that Thomas has left, when he could take them, how much we would both have to work, how much it is going to cost for IVF and school at the same time, and how to time everything so it works out just right. And then I realized...
It can't be done. Sure, if I didn't want to see my husband for the next years straight and stress both of us out, neglect our sweet dogs, and possibly go bankrupt, we could probably do it.
But i like my husband, and I love spending time with him. I love it when he's not super stressed out. I love cuddling my puppies. I really love cuddling my hubby.
And so last night, after wrestling with it for a few days, praying and really deciding what my priorities are, I told Thomas we needed to slow it down. Instead for running ourselves into the ground, we are going to take an extra semester and graduate in December of 2015 instead of April 2015. I have felt so much peace after making this decision, and as much as I dread spending more time in Utah, it's better than having an absentee husband for a year. And I can endure anything if I just put on my big girl panties and suck it up! ;) I know whatever lies in store for us, that we will do it together, and with The Lord on our side, how can we not succeed?
I am grateful for the promptings of the Spirit. I am grateful I am in tune enough to realize when the Holy Ghost is telling me something that I should be doing even when I don't really want to hear it. I know that If I continue to heed those promptings I will be blessed, and so will my family. And as much as I rebel against being here in Utah, I know it's where we need to be right now.
I broke down and got a Utah driver's license today. So I guess it's official...I'm a Utard. For the time being, at least! ;) I really am enjoying being close to family, and friends from college. I am grateful for the new friends I have made, and for the great ward we are in. I know if I can just have a better attitude, I will be able to have a good time here and continue to make our time here pleasant!
And yes, you can go ahead and be proud that I blogged twice in one month.
Until next time!
Much love,
Sam
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